Some words of wisdom from your Mohawk Elders to help make benefit to enjoy the festive season…

Christmas is a wonderful, magical time of the year. But it is easy to stray from the path of righteousness, and the time-honoured ways of the past. So here is some advice from our more senior members on how to enjoy the festive season.

Go to Christmas Practice. Do not leave uni before then, and for the love of god do not plan on going home that evening. Missing your train/plane/ride is probably the best outcome from that decision.

Now that you are going to Christmas practice, do not take beer. Or cider. Mohawks are not anti-beer or anti-cider, but rather beer and cider are anti-Christmas. In order to be full of Christmas Spirit, you must, logically, be full of spirit. It is a necessary condition, if you will.

However, should you choose not to consume alcoholic beverages at this session, we are of course a club that supports your arguably better lifestyle choices. You will also enjoy Christmas practice – mainly because everyone will be so terrible at ultimate that you feel like a god, but also because you will be spending fun and special time with a pretty sweet group of people.

Christmas is the season of giving and sharing. Scientific experiments have shown that people who give are happier than people who take. Give, and share. Bring a bottle of spirits, and do not expect to take any home. If you have some left at the end (assuming you are capable of recognising a bottle by the end), this is a bonus. Share spirits with your friends and teammates and be merry.

There have been some tragic misunderstandings of tradition in recent weeks. Stu valiantly saved the grand tradition of Falmer bar socials after people were confused and thought ‘Falmer bar social’ meant ‘staying in the bar for a bit then clubbing’. By the courage Stu showed in the face of the Dr Who society, and some epic Ro Sham Bo skills, our glorious tradition lives on.

But I digress. My point was – next Wednesday is not a day for clubbing. If you go clubbing, or out in town, after Christmas practice, one of two things has happened: either you are far too sober and have not committed like a true Mohawk to Christmas practice and the ensuing festivities, or you are far too drunk and should not be allowed to make decisions by yourself, lest you end up losing your phone, keys, wallet, bike lock, bike lights, jacket, iPod and other various necessities. Friends don’t let friends leave Christmas practice for town – I’m sorry we let you down, Fetu.